Simon Hodges photographed by Matt Porteous
Last month, life coach Simon Hodges discussed why healthy dynamics often deteriorate and offered practical tools to help break out of old destructive patterns of behaviour. In his last column dealing with family dynamics, Simon provides some practical and powerful tips to improve family relationships
Love is always the answer, the answer is always love
This may sound obvious, but I make no apology for saying it: if you want to build more loving relationships, you have to make being loving your primary focus. This is not just a ?soft and fluffy? act. Far from it, it is actually the most challenging and most rewarding thing you will ever do.
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The most loving relationships are those where boundaries exist ? put simply this involves being honest with yourself about what is ?ok? and what is ?not ok? in your relationship with others and making this clear to those around you. Once these limits have been set, it is then a case of holding each other accountable to these boundaries (with consequences for overstepping them). Though it may seem counter-intuitive, this requires putting yourself first, having the moral courage to say what you feel and to say it proactively and pre-emptively before any problems occur; take a moment to reflect on this point and be honest with yourself ? do you routinely avoid speaking your truth because it feels awkward to do so" And then ask yourself, what are the cons...